finally...

I'm not angry anymore.

20 seconds to oblivion

You came to see me.
You sat on my bed.
You cried.

You told me you didn't know why you were doing this,

that you still loved me,

that you must be crazy.

You lied.

After 4 1/2 years, you didn't have the courage to tell me you were leaving me for someone else.

You're a self-obsessed, cowardly bastard.

I am glad to be rid of you.

smells of paranoia...

To this day I remain unsure of whether what Curt Cobain was really singing in Nirvana's oddly titled 'Territorial Pissings' was, 'Just 'cause you're not paranoid / don't mean they're not after you', or, 'Just because you're paranoid...'

The odd thing is that both of these versions make sense. If I'm not paranoid, this would indicate that I am blissfully unaware of the fact that 'they' are after me, whereas if I am, I might be tempted to believe that paranoia is all it is whereas in truth 'they' might be busily plotting away at my destruction already. I have recently been wondering about a similarly paradoxical phenomenon affecting my own life, namely, the fact that in this day and age, being a hopeless paranoiac like me might actually be an advantage.

Let me explain.

When George Orwell put the finishing touches to his bleakly dystopian novel Nineteen Eighty-Four on the eve of 1948, he could in no way have foreseen that, 60 years later, 'Big Brother' would be better known within the 'Western' world as the title of a sensationalist TV show than as the name of the leader of the totalitarian State of Oceania which is the setting for the novel's plot. What would probably have surprised him a lot less than seeing the concept of total surveillance he evoked in such disconcerting ways in his book exploited for the entertainment of the bored middle classes is the way Britain itself is today turning more and more into a kind of postmodern Oceania.

Those of us living in this country are all familiar with (albeit often unaware of) the ever-present signs of the increasing paranoia and control mechanisms the State and its regulating bodies have been surrounding us with; here are some of my personal favourites:

• CCTV. I remember being dumbfounded when I noticed them first, probably only several months after first coming to Britain, because something as unsubtly intrusive as a progression of cameras eyeing you up from the tops of poles and the walls of buildings all over the city centres was simply outwith my experience and imagination. I'm particularly fond of the signs on buses and in railway stations that seek to draw your attention to the fact that you're being monitored with such cheerfully cynical captions as, 'Smile, you're on TV!', or, '... for your comfort and safety'. Nice.
  


• 'Security checks' in airports. I know, Britain is only doing its usual thang in following the lead of its Bigger Brother USA in this, but would my friend's half-empty bottle of facial wash the security lady confiscated on our last trip abroad really have constituted a lethal threat to passengers and crew?
  
  
• 'Security checks' in the workplace. I'm sure different companies have all kinds of creative ways of ensuring their workers' and customers' 'comfort and safety', let alone that of the company itself; the few gems I've come across so far include such practices as regularly searching shop assistants' clothes at the end of the workday (this one from one of the big retailers; doubtless in order to ensure that employees haven't got any of those TVs and mirowaves stuffed down their trousers), and - wait for it! - periodically testing the urine of employees for residues of illegal substances. Privacy, anyone..?

As this last example shows, the theme of 'security', always a classic when it comes to coming up with excuses for restricting the freedom of citizens, also works within the supposedly 'private' sector of corporate business. One of the latest and most striking cases of this kind has sent ripples of vexation and outrage running through the populations of one very particular kind of business: that of higher education, i.e., Britain's university system.

It all began last October, when the Home Office decided to introduce a new points-based system to restrict the influx of unwanted persons into our beautiful country, tier 4 of which affects foreign students. In addition to having to endure stricter immigration controls such as having their fingerprints taken at entering the country, this means that students applying to come to Britain after the end of this month will have to provide proof of having been accepted at an 'approved education provider' (to the layperson also known as a university) as well as disposing of the necessary finances to maintain themselves during their stay in order to collect enough 'points' to be given a visa.

So far, so bad. What's most upset the teaching staff at British universities, though, is the government's plan to oblige teachers to monitor their students' attendance and report back to the Home Office should they fail to attend classes 10 times or more. Universities will be holding licences allowing them to offer places to students from outside the EU, which will be taken away should teachers fail to comply with the government's 'spying' regulations - a disaster for many universities, which finance a large part of their expenses through the (highly overpriced) tuition fees paid by overseas students.

The official explanation for these innovations is that they'll help ensure that only 'real' students enter the UK on student visas, and that they then stick to what they came here to do, i.e., their studies. Well, this is one way of putting it. Anoher would be to say that it's just another step in the move towards total control of its residents the UK has been engaged in for quite some time now, driven by the fear of the 'enemy' apparently lurking out there and, increasingly, also within, which has recently been aggravated by a global economic and environmental crisis.

After a meeting held about the 'spying-on-students' issue at one 'approved education provider' last month, I was joking about the issue with my mate C. I told him,

'This country is turnig into an Orwellian nightmare. It's like they've taken 1984 and used it as a manual instead of as a warning.'

He replied,

'Yes - it's like they've taken a look at Bentham's panopticon and thought about how to improve it.'

Really, the absurdity of the whole thing is so striking that it makes me wonder why people don't pick up on it more; security all good and well, but the way it's being practiced in this country is more than exaggerated. On the other hand, where governments work with fear, history has shown over and over again that all kinds of things are possible, so really, I shouldn't be surprised anymore. Another friend of mine maintains that once the government starts introducing its long-discussed biometric ID cards, he will leave the country; only, that makes me wonder where he is planning to go. As for me, I find the way this country is going doubleplusungood, to say the least - but at least, being naturally paranoid, the feeling of being under constant surveillance is nothing new to me, which means that I should be able to adjust to this dawning age of Big Brother's return to British politics without too much trouble. It'll be interesting to see where it all ends...

For more information on foreign students and immigration issues, check out:

http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/applicationforms/pbs/Tier4migrantguidance.pdf

http://www.journal-online.co.uk/article/5087-lecturers-asked-to-spy-on-foreign-students-again